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Marc Zazeela says
December 12, 2011 at 10:17 am
I really like this: “And if I want to be a sparkly, girlie-girl. So be it. It does NOT make me less intelligent or valid. I am who I am. I can still kick ass and take names. And I like me.”
I think regardless the situation, you must always be true to yourself. Answer these questions:
Are you willing to change who you are to satisfy someone’s ideal of who or what you should be? Will climbing the corporate ladder be an acceptable trade-off for compromising your personality? Is the prize worth the contest? Will you still “like me”?
Peg Fitzpatrick says
December 12, 2011 at 7:34 pm
I appreciate your support Marc.
Great questions. With age you certainly get perspective, right?
December 13, 2011 at 2:16 pm
I sure hope so, Peggy. Lately, the perspective’s been accumulating faster and faster!
Ashley Drewes, owner says
December 12, 2011 at 3:32 pm
Great thoughts! I think a lot of women see historically-masculine competitive behaviors as the only way to get ahead. But women have a long history of building communities to survive and thrive – it may behoove us (and our male counterparts) to put more effort into that now more than ever!
December 12, 2011 at 7:33 pm
I agree Ashley! Thanks for your thoughts
December 12, 2011 at 8:56 pm
Important post, Peggy. Thanks once again for digging deep and revealing yourself for the better good.
December 13, 2011 at 7:38 am
I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment, thanks!
December 13, 2011 at 5:45 am
Great thoughts, Peggy! Love that quote by Eleanor Roosevelt. “Are we giving men the upperhand?” Great question. People will assume your power if you don’t take it for yourself.
December 13, 2011 at 7:42 am
“People will assume your power if you don’t take it for yourself.” Exactly! See how men get that fact Doug? But as girls and women that is not our nature or expected role so it is much more of a challenge.Appreciate your thoughts! PEggy
Gini Dietrich says
December 13, 2011 at 8:33 am
Just 10 years ago, I had a situation where a client was sexually harassing me. He would come to my hotel room and bang on the door at all hours of the night. He would call and call until I would pick up. He wouldn’t let me leave dinner without him. It was really bad. I tried managing it on my own, but he wouldn’t stop. So I came back from a business trip I’d been on with him and I told the CEO of the agency where I worked. You know what he said? “This client represents more than a quarter of our revenue. Can’t you just work something out with him?” I don’t know what that meant, now that I’ve had 10 years to reflect on it, but at the time I took it to mean, “You’re single. Why don’t you just let him have what he wants.” I quit not long after that and went out on my own.
But the point is, no matter if we’re being harassed by men or women, we need to stick up for ourselves!
December 13, 2011 at 2:21 pm
No client is worth that kind of treatment! Quarter of revenue, half of revenue, all of revenue; makes no difference. Once you have established that precedent, there is no turning back.
Sadly, our society values money and things more than almost anything else. More than respect, more than morality, more than humanity; almost more than life, itself. The cycle has to be broken somewhere. I would gladly give up my job, my possessions and live in a refrigerator box as opposed to living the high life and being subjected to that treatment.
In the long run, what’s more valuable, stuff or self?
December 13, 2011 at 3:58 pm
I reflect on that incident every once in a while and I think maybe our CEO thought I was overreacting. The problem is that I grew up with four brothers so it takes A LOT to get to me. I definitely was not overreacting and I didn’t like not being taken seriously. It could have cost them a lot of money if I had decided to sue.
December 13, 2011 at 6:03 pm
I think that not be taken seriously or valued as an equal player is the game exactly. Cute nickname, just have lunch with him…. eyes up here buddy! Humpff
December 13, 2011 at 6:01 pm
So your situation was very close to mine, Gini: they make lots of money for our company and what’s the big deal?
Absolutely we need to stick up for ourselves! Thanks for sharing your story.
Bruce Sallan says
December 13, 2011 at 10:34 am
Hmmm, as a Dad blogger/advocate, I feel that women DOMINATE my space and my hand rising up and down seeking acknowledgement is a challenge. In the past, I do believe women suffered extreme discrimination but now I believe men suffer it more. Women have rightfully been allowed to choose career or parenting or so blend. In my generation of men, that is still looked at with disdain. Yes, it’s changing but I’d say women supporting women is on par with any men’s club that still exists. After all, most of them were banned!
December 13, 2011 at 6:07 pm
I think that your comment represents to me the flipside of the same problem Bruce. We have been changing roles from breadwinners to changing diapers to sharing chores and now that all the roles are muddled there isn’t a comfortable place for people. If you are a stay home dad, I am sure that you get judged for it. When you are a mother, you get judged if you work and if you stay home.
I love how you have fully embraced the Dad blogger/advocate position and do see that the women who blog about parenting get much more press and accolades.
How do we even things out so we are PEOPLE and not men or women?
December 13, 2011 at 7:51 pm
EVERY revolution tends to go to far at first…and then settle into its right place – in the middle. For now, the pendulum has swung a bit far AWAY from men after being so in favor of me at the expense of women. It will equalize in time…I hope during our kids’ lifetimes!
December 13, 2011 at 7:55 pm
I agree that the pendulum has swung. Maybe our kids will be able to have more equality and balance in their lives. I would love to see that.
Men really get the tough end of the deal in court for custody battles. Gender alone should not determine the better parent. Thanks for bringing up the male perspective Bruce – I appreciate your thoughts.
Carol Quinn says
December 14, 2011 at 9:49 pm
Parity is the goal – equality is a relative concept.
Bradley Gauthier says
December 15, 2011 at 11:18 pm
Awesome post Peg! 🙂
January 10, 2012 at 7:36 am
Thank, Q says
January 9, 2012 at 9:25 pm
This is a great post! I do think that women are their worst enemy at times. It’s not to say that there aren’t some men who oppress them, but nothing is worse than having your own bring you down. Excellent job!